Festive Cheer – Not

A colleague  who shall remain anonymous  (unless you’re from work, in which case you know exactly who this comes from) sent this very cheery Christmas message in advance of the festive season. Thought I’d share it to get everyone in the mood.

I am conscious that I am bit late this year in sending around the my Christmas message (it normally appears in July!) – but Halloween seems as good a day to do it as any, based on my well known view of the forthcoming festive season.

What brought this whole horrible episode to my mind was the fact that the Christmas lights in Oxford Street (that’s in London if you were not sure, as opposed to the Chipping Sodbury Christmas lights – which might in fact be marginally more impressive that the London ones – Jeremy Clarkson would probably turn those on, if he was not concerned about being electrocuted in the process by some reactionary socialist disability rights terrorists group – sorry I digress!) – are being turned on just after the weekend, and I can only think badly of the poor sad people that turn out on a drizzly Monday in November to watch this remarkable spectacle!

I simply can’t imagine that anyone here would be so desperate to see something so crass – I suppose if Robbie Williams were performing it might be marginally more interesting (Oh! he is – I take it all back……..how do I get a ticket…NOT) – but someone turning a light switch on can’t be that interesting I would not have thought – still whatever floats your boat.

Anyway I always thought someone from Coronation Street always did it – and it was part of their contract – Cliff Richard was in pantomime at the Northampton rep. theatre one year – I didn’t go and see that either, just so that you know.

The other thing that brought it to mind was all this ridiculous happiness and merriment about going to Leicester football ground and paying £40.00 of your earth pounds for the privilege of eating turkey and Christmas pudding and putting on a paper hat – what has got into you people!! It is the usual culprits I notice – Happy bloody clappy Christmas bunnies – bah Humbug!!

Still I am sure you are all looking forward to it – such wonderful fun for all concerned – reading a Christmas Carol (that’s by Charles Dickens – if you were not sure – not the Charles Dikkens with two k’s – he’s the dutch one) in front of the fire with a warming glass of hot grog – magical isn’t it.

I shall not be sending Christmas cards this year – I shall be donating to charity – have not decided which one but as the willow tree in our back garden has just been chopped down it will probably go to homeless birds or something

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