I’m a bit late to the ‘live’ part of this live blog (by which I mean I’m writing as I watch the show, cause, let’s be honest, you need to do something while watching). And I might have to stop if Lily wakes up, starts crying and therefore needs a cuddle to go back to sleep.

But anyway…

It’s Halloween week, but I think they’re missing a trick. Skyfall was released yesterday and it look like the contestants all went to the première (bastards), so shouldn’t it be Bond week?

Kye was first up this week, singing a Robbie Williams classic. The one he usually opens up his shows with. And he had to rehearse it in from of the man himself. Bet he felt shit about that. I expected it to be shit but it wasn’t as shit as I expected. Not good though.

Union J went second. I’ll be honest, it kind of passed me by and I was only half listening. But that was enough for me. Shit. Sometimes I wonder if the judges are watching the same thing as me. How could they praise them for that?

Oh, and Louis, you need to find a new catchphrase. “I think they could be the next big boy band…” What, has Simon already been on the the blower offering to manufacture them into it next year?

20:59 – Oh my god. It’s Rylan. Should I take this chance to go get a beer?

21:00 – Lewis Hamilton – you’re a lucky, lucky boy….

21:04 – Sorry, still don’t ‘get’ Rylan. I mean, how many songs can you get through in two minutes?

21:07 – That dress Tulisa is wearing is really quite tight, isn’t it? Looks painful to be honest. Having said that, I’m not complaining about it 🙂

21:10 – Ella’s great. But very samey. And now she’s doing one of my favourite songs, but it lacks the energy and sheer passion of the original. I know she’s the favourite, but sorry, I can’t see her winning.

21:14 – One thing that annoys me about X-Factor is the way the crowd reacts whenever a judge offers an honest critique or makes genuine points that help the performer improve. Anything that isn’t gushing praise is greeted by boos. Why? I don’t understand it.

21:22 – I like Christopher, and if the rumors of the phone vote polls are true so do a lot of people (they reckon he’s topped the polls every week), but can he really win it? And if he does, will we hear even less of him afterwards than we did of… er… that one, you know… and… er… thingy. Yeah, those two.

21:28 – Gary just called Tulisa “Fag Ash Breath”. Now that’s entertainment. I think that Tulisa’s problem with Maloney is that he isn’t ‘urban’ enough. Either that or maybe he’s admitted to her that he’s seen that video of hers that came out in the summer. Perhaps that’s why he shakes all the time when he sees her.

21:35 – District 3 next. And they murder one of the best songs of all time – Every breath you take by The police. Not only do they sing it out of tune and at the wrong speed, they ‘mash it up’ with some other shit. Hated it. Hate them. Shit. Shit. Shit.

21:37 – Thank you Gary Barlow. I’m sick of bloody mash-ups too. Oh, and Nicole, the five eyeballs thing is Clockwork Orange. Do you have no cultural knowledge?

21:43 – Holly Willoughby has just tweeted in on the whole “”Fag Ash Breath” thing by informing the world that her breath smells of Tequila. Well, there are worse things for it to smell of.

21:46 Jahmene sang for Samuel L. Jackson, officially the coolest man on the planet. I don’t life will ever get much better than that. This boy is class. He’s singing Killing Me Softly. And singing it well.

21:48 – Best performance of the night. So far ahead of the other it’s untrue. Only James Arthur comes close. It’s nice to see the judges gush this much when its well deserved.

21:54 – Jade. Good song choice. But she looked lost on that stage on her own early on. Then the bondage dancers came out and I think it put her off because her vocals suddenly got worse. In fairness though, if six girls in silver catsuits started dancing around me with ropes, it would put me off first.

21:58 – Apparently “Freak Like Me” is a song that Jade listened to when she was ‘growing up’. Shit, I feel old now. Thanks.

22:04 – Can I go and watch Boardwalk Empire yet? No, not yet, James is on next.

22:07 – James Arthur. Nothing more to say really.

22:09 – Okay. If I must. This guy is great. If he doesn’t win (and I don’t think he will for some reason) I think he’ll be the real big winner from this year. I’ve loved everything he’s done so far. Just incredible.

22:13 – Well, I enjoyed that. Writing about it as much as watching it. I think we’ll end up with Christopher, Jahmene and James in the final. Yes, I don’t think Ella will make it that far. Semis at best. I just think people will tire of her. One thing is clear though, Jahmene and even more so James are streets ahead of the others.

Robbie is on the results show tonight. He must have a new album out or something. Well, that’s a Chrissy present for Sandrine sorted at least.

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